Exposure

Psalm 25

"For your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great" (Psalm 25:11).

These are the words of a man whose eyes were "ever on the Lord" (25:15). Yet, he was aware of "great" guilt, a nexus that, at first, surprises us. It must be that the more we see of God the more we see ourselves. 

I think of days past when my father plowed fields that had never been cultivated. On the first pass the plowshare would expose large, previously unnoticed rocks that he hauled away. Then, he would plow the field again, and then again, to further break up the soil. With each pass the plow turned up other, smaller rocks that he cast aside. 

Growth in grace is a similar process: When we first begin to follow Jesus, "big" sins, mostly sins of the flesh, occupy our thoughts. But as the years pass by us and God's word passes through us, other sins rise to the surface.  

Sins of the spirit once thought to be mere peccadilloes—pride, prejudice, self-pity, pettiness, spite, self-accommodating indulgence and the like—are revealed as the ruinous attitudes and actions that they are. God reveals each sin so that he can, in due time, cast it aside. 

Humbling exposure, though painful, is good for the soul. It's one of the ways by which He "instructs sinners in the way" (25;8). There is no other way to grow. 

I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith and love and every grace, 

Might more of His salvation know, 

And seek more earnestly His face. 

‘Twas He who taught me thus to pray, 

And He, I trust, has answered prayer, 

But it has been in such a way 

As almost drove me to despair. 

I hoped that in some favored hour 

At once He’d answer my request 

And, by His love’s constraining pow’r, 

Subdue my sins and give me rest. 

Instead of this, He made me feel 

The hidden evils of my heart 

And let the angry pow’rs of hell 

Assault my soul in ev’ry part. 

Yea, more with His own hand He seemed 

Intent to aggravate my woe, 

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed, 

Humbled my heart and laid me low. 

“Lord, why is this,” I trembling cried; 

“Wilt Thou pursue Thy worm to death?” 

“’Tis in this way,” the Lord replied, 

“I answer prayer for grace and faith.” 

“These inward trials I employ 

From self and pride to set thee free 

And break thy schemes of earthly joy 

That thou may’st find thy all in Me.” —John Newman

David Roper