Monday, December 9, 2019


Exposure
Psalm 25

"For your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great" (Psalm 25:11).

These are the words of a man whose eyes were "ever on the Lord" (25:15). Yet, he was aware of "great" guilt, a nexus that, at first, surprises us. It must be that the more we see of God the more we see ourselves. 

I think of days past when my father plowed fields that had never been cultivated. On the first pass the plowshare would expose large, previously unnoticed rocks that he hauled away. Then, he would plow the field again, and then again, to further break up the soil. With each pass the plow turned up other, smaller rocks that he cast aside. 

Growth in grace is a similar process: When we first begin to follow Jesus, "big" sins, mostly sins of the flesh, occupy our thoughts. But as the years pass by us and God's word passes through us, other sins rise to the surface.  

Sins of the spirit once thought to be mere peccadilloes—pride, prejudice, self-pity, pettiness, spite, self-accommodating indulgence and the like—are revealed as the ruinous attitudes and actions that they are. God reveals each sin so that he can, in due time, cast it aside. 

Humbling exposure, though painful, is good for the soul. It's one of the ways by which He "instructs sinners in the way" (25;8). There is no other way to grow. 

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace, 
Might more of His salvation know, 
And seek more earnestly His face. 

Twas He who taught me thus to pray, 
And He, I trust, has answered prayer, 
But it has been in such a way 
As almost drove me to despair. 

I hoped that in some favored hour 
At once Hed answer my request 
And, by His loves constraining powr, 
Subdue my sins and give me rest. 

Instead of this, He made me feel 
The hidden evils of my heart 
And let the angry powrs of hell 
Assault my soul in evry part. 

Yea, more with His own hand He seemed 
Intent to aggravate my woe, 
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed, 
Humbled my heart and laid me low. 

Lord, why is this,” I trembling cried; 
Wilt Thou pursue Thy worm to death?” 
“’Tis in this way,” the Lord replied, 
I answer prayer for grace and faith.” 

These inward trials I employ 
From self and pride to set thee free 
And break thy schemes of earthly joy 
That thou mayst find thy all in Me.” —John Newman

David Roper

1 comment:

Alexandra said...

Oh what a relief that you and John Newman and countless others experience this horror at the sight of one's soul as the culmination of the refining process. I am 76 and feel thankful to have had so much time to reflect and repent and recognise sins of pride, self-righteousness, prejudice, judgmentalism and deep seated angers. Perhaps a psychiatrist might point out these failings sooner, but I'm experiencing this last stage of the refining process - after my initial horror - as the gentleness and graciousness of God preparing me for His nearer presence. God is never in a hurry so can be gentle and patient as He polishes us.

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