Forgetting the Things Behind
"Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his devises" (2 Corinthians 2:10,11).
"if I have forgiven anything..." A casual aside, almost a throw-away line, that we're likely to miss if we're not paying attention.
Here's the backstory...
Certain folks in Corinth had mocked Paul's lack of sermonic polish and savoire-faire (2 Corinthians 10:10 et. al.) Their critique must have cut Paul to the quick. He was their spiritual father and cared deeply for them (1 Corinthians 4:14).
But Paul had learned not to waste time over hurt feelings. He forgave and readily forgot their critique. "Whatever I’ve forgiven," he writes... and then he racks his brain. "If I have anything to forgive..." He couldn't remember!
This wasn't dementia; it was godly behavior: God forgets what he forgives (Hebrews 10:17). What Paul forgave he also forgot.
Forgetting is not a matter of "not thinking about it." It's actually impossible to suppress unwelcome thoughts. (It was Tolstoy, I think, who envisioned a club in which initiates were required to stand in a corner and not think of a white rabbit.) Research in memory suppression suggests that while one part of our brain is trying to tamp down a memory, another part "checks in" occasionally to make sure the thought is not coming back up and simultaneously brings it to mind.
We can‘t stop the initial memory of a troubling event—the thought that pops into our head—but we can refuse to consolidate the memory by rumination. Every time we rehearse a troubling event, we strengthen the memory and the emotions associated with it. Our indignation and anger grow, we become adrenalized again and the event becomes even more deeply imbedded in our memories.
A moment's thought reveals the truth of that principle. How do we imprint thoughts we want to remember—a poem for example? By repetition."Repetitio est mater studiorum” (“Repetition is the mother of learning”) is an old Latin proverb.
"Disremembering" begins by refusing to recycle the memory of an unpleasant event, turning it over and over in our minds (I admit to some perverse pleasure in that practice) and redirecting our angry, bitter thoughts to prayer and thoughts that are "true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, morally excellent, and worthy of praise" (Philippians 4:8).
Think about these things, Paul would say, and leave your angry and anxious thoughts behind. (Though I think Paul had something else in mind, it may be helpful to think those thoughts about the person who wronged us. Did not Jesus say we should bless those who curse us?)
Bottom line, when we cling to injustice and turn it over and over in our minds we may—like Charles Dickens' Miss Havisham—freeze our bitterness for all time, imprint it on our souls and on our faces. We will have played into Satan's hands (2:11).
David Roper
