Good Morning, Friends,
Recently I saw a meme on Facebook. It went like this:
"Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put the laundry in the oven.”
I couldn’t stop laughing. I understood. Now I can’t say that I have amazed myself on many days, especially with all the newness and stress brought on by our social distancing, wearing masks and washing every thing in sight from my hands to the groceries, to the door knobs and the Amazon packages. All this on top of everyday life. But, metaphorically speaking I have had days when “I put the laundry in the oven!” Or worse. So who am I really, one or the other?
This brought to mind one of my favorite poems by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a man so many admire for his writings and stance again the Nazi regime. A stance that led, not to his release from prison, but to his execution days before the end of World War II. Bonhoeffer grappled with this same question, not when he was in a pandemic, but when he was in a Nazi prison. This poem fits us anytime, and especially these days.
Who am I?
Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cell's confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a Squire from his country house.
Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as through it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.
Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing
My throat, yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint, and ready to say farewell to it all.
Who am I? This or the Other?
Am I one person to-day and to-morrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me like a beaten army
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?
Who am I? They mock me, these lonely question of mine,
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am Thine."
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!” Isaiah 43:1
O Lord, our God and Redeemer, we entrust ourselves as we are to You, because You have said, “You are Mine!” Enable us to keep this in the eyes of our heart today. We praise and thank You that now we belong to You, in our joyful moments and in those which are darker.” Because of Jesus we draw near in confidence to You. Amen
Carolyn
